Punishing players for parent behavior.

I very recently was exposed to an anomaly.  A coach punishing a player because he was upset with the player's parent?

Now let me pause to explain that parents should let the the coaches coach (or teach...you know how I feel).  As long as the rules are clear and the opportunity is equal, the parent should be there to support their child only.  I know however there are exceptions to this and so many scenarios I could publish a chapter book.  However, let's focus.  As a coach, do you take that parent frustration out on the player?

My philosophy dictates Never..No..absolutely not for any reason. 

The only amendment to this is when selecting a team.  If you know up front that a parent will be disruptive, do not select the player.  I even say during tryouts that parent behavior during tryouts will affect player selection.  For this topic, let's stick to player/parents you have selected and made a commitment to coach/teach.

Let's face it, "Daddy Ball" as we call it in Georgia is real.  Nothing wrong with a parent who coaches their own child but the team can't revolve around them.  On the flip side, if you let all the players play through mistakes you should let the coach's child be afforded the same luxury.  I mention Daddy Ball as it is usually the primary instigator for Coach vs. Parent discussion in youth sports.

Nonetheless, keep those emotions in focus.  Personally, I allow parents to ask me anything at any time.  No 24 hour rules etc.  If you have any issue let's discuss as adults.  I have no motives or nothing to hide.  No matter the lack of respect shown or situation, I do not take my emotions out on their child.  That player is there to learn, not to be punished with less playing time, rudeness, disrespect or anything that would constitute a different set of rules.

As coaches, we should make it very clear what the rules are for playing time or anything for that fact.  Everyone is equal. If a kid isn't getting the position or playing time, they should know why.  I've never understood why coaches are hesitant in this area.  Maybe because the rules vary by player?  Not sure, but it is a horrible example to set.

Be open, be transparent.  Have one set of rules for everyone and you will have quick and easy answers for players and parents with complaints.   Keep parents separate from players.  It's that simple.

Fundamentals, Fundamentals, Fundamentals...

Is there anything more coach speak than that?  How many times have you began a basketball season to hear the "coach" (will use that title loosely) say the following:

1.  We are going to drill fundamentals!  That's it.
2.  I could care less if we win a game!

Ahh... the freshness of a new season and to hear those statements brings joy to your heart.  You think to yourself, "My son/daughter is going to learn a ton!"  Well, by the end of the season, collectively you and your child learned a lot of things.

What they really feel deep down inside is genuine, but the implementation is flawed.  They really believe they will teach the fundamentals and as long as they do that, they will win, so point #2 will never come into play.

I pose the question.. ."Why is it so hard to commit to the Fundamentals?"

I have what I believe to be the answer.  

It's simple. You will not win now.  Your kids will win later when they are not playing for you.  So why invest in people who aren't going to be loyal?

That's it.  However, I've had to become comfortable with that premise.  It was very hard, but now I am content with it.  A wise coach told me, "If you do things the right way, you will not have a team."  If I am doing things the right way, why will I not have a team?  Where is the loyalty?  Why wouldn't they want to stay and get better?

The hard truth for youth basketball is this.  Parent's care more about winning than the player.  They measure development with one key metric:  WINS!  The more you win, the better you are.  That is true.....for now.  The player who may not be a superstar now, but puts in the work, is committed to improving is the kid you want to surround yourself with.  If you as a teacher/coach take the time to invest in those kids, they will invest in you.  If you invest in a kid with a delusional parent who is above average at his/her age, they will sell you in a second to get on that winning team.  Why?  Simple really.... they want their kid to be the Star.  That cannot happen when you develop everyone and do not place the ability to win in one kid.

My plea to parents is really find a teacher (not a coach) who teaches the game.  Yes, they want to win, but understand they know it will take time.  Your child's development clock has not struck midnight yet so he/she is not a dominate 6th, 7th 8th grader.  Congratulations... you didn't peak in middle school!   Be patient... stay in that slow cooker and enjoy the results later.  Or, continue telling yourself that your phenom 6th grader is on his way to the NBA.  Your choice.  To conclude, I will leave you with some facts:

1. At the Division 1 level, 337 universities have basketball teams for men. There are 13 scholarships available per team to be divided among the players. A total of 4,381 scholarships are offered in Division 1 basketball for men.
2. The draft consists of two rounds with a total of sixty players to be selected. No player may sign with the NBA until he has been eligible for at least one draft. 

#fundamentals